Former Vegetarian
What's my opinion of political correctness? I'm glad you asked. Here's my take on those proselytizers of their own twisted morality, who seek the elimination of everyone else’s freedom: A steamy pile of dog shit provides infinitely greater appeal. Though they’re both un-palatable, the dog shit doesn’t try to spread its stench and disease causing poison. Now that that’s out of the way, let’s all admit that this is one funny t-shirt! Remember, each open mindedly cool t-shirt we sell is a custom t-shirt made to order just for you. Click the button to see it in other colors and to buy it on Spring.com – they print and ship our products.
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Former child TV star
This one they might believe, since many child stars grow up to be unattractive losers. Which is not to say that those has-beens don't still score more residual, groupie ass and free stuff than your never-been self does. Hence the functionality of this magnet-like t-shirt! Remember, each rerun worthy t-shirt we sell is a custom t-shirt made to order just for you. Click the button to see it in other colors and to buy it on Spring.com – they print and ship our products.
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Former Conspiracy Theorist
It's amazing what a little shock therapy can do to an inordinately insightful mind. But nightmares be damned - wearing this t-shirt is like waving a white flag at all of those conspiring, electrode administering thieves. As long as you have it on they'll never suspect that you're still hip to their global web of deceitful control! Don't think for one second that you're the only one who sees through the subterfuge of all those multi-topping pizza deals and the "rent a car" commercials that run incessantly during games that are played with a ball or puck. And how could they think we wouldn't notice that they're mostly on during the time outs? Those Machiavellian masters of misdirection can't manipulate our minds with their machinations! Remember, each suspiciously funny t-shirt we sell is a custom t-shirt made to order just for you. Click the button to see it in other colors and to buy it on Spring.com – they print and ship our products.
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Former athlete
Truth be told, this gem was inspired by the many greats who have shamelessly let themselves go to the crapper. I won't name names... Click the button to see it in other colors and to buy it on Spring.com – they print and ship our products.
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Former world champion
You've got to appreciate the way I left the details of this deceptive claim in your hands. It's almost like I'm saying, "beauty is in the eye of the beholder", except that your expertly woven tale of bullshit is what will be in the eye of the beholder! Caveat Emptor baby! Click the button to see it in other colors and to buy it on Spring.com – they print and ship our products.
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Former optimist smiley
Just because you're not an optimist, it doesn't mean you're a pessimist! Let this stylish reminder of the perils of pendulous thought guide you, and those who see it, down the highly acclaimed yet rarely traveled middle road. The wounded convert to reason on this down to earth t-shirt is simply reminding us all that he's finally charting the course of a realist (he's still smiling, isn't he?). And you can too! Click the button to see it in other colors and to buy it on Spring.com – they print and ship our products. Remember, each reasonably funny t-shirt we sell is a custom t-shirt made to order just for you.
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Former Ivy Leaguer
You might have a shot with this prestige inducing garment - IF: 1- You speak as little as possible. 2- The people who see you wearing it have never had any prior conversations with you. 3- The people who see you wearing do not know, or care to know, what the word "Haud" means. BTW, where does one apply to become an expansion team in this "Ivy League"? Might the city where I propose to build my stadium of learning pay for it because of the revenue that will be generated? Click the button to see it in other colors and to buy it on Spring.com – they print and ship our products.
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